Your beliefs are your reality!
In life we learn a set of beliefs that guide and protect us as we make our way. These set of beliefs can be around any topic. They can be around health, family, friends, education, work, sport you name it you have a belief around it. Some beliefs are from family, friends and some from the environment we live in.
Beliefs can be positive and negative. Our beliefs are developed by experiences we have in life. A belief can propel us forward or it can hold us back. At the end of the day WE are in control of that belief and the impact it has on us.
If you have followed me for a while you would be aware of MY STORY and have read it. If you haven’t please take a moment to go back and read it. It is a good illustration of beliefs both positive and negative.
I held the belief for the longest period that there was nothing wrong with me. I wasn’t overweight at all. It happened all of a sudden. <GASP> No that was what I believed at the time. I was overweight and unfit. The truth was I had spent the last 3-4 years sitting, flying all over, eating poorly and not taking care of myself. I didn’t believe that anything was wrong. I read a flyer for a personal trainer and then realised on a flight that my big ass no longer fitted into a business class seat. Finally the spark had lit the fire for me to see myself as I was an obese, unhappy and unhealthy man.
I had held onto the belief for a very long time that I could not change. I could not get fit, I couldn’t lose the weight. It was debilitating. Each time my trainer pushed me, my belief that I couldn’t change would kick in and my old ways would rear their ugly head. From faking an injury, eating poorly, drinking alcohol, came to training in a bad mood, you name it I would do it. My go to strategy for continuing this belief was to turn up to training in a bad mood and put in no effort. Luckily my trainer paid no attention to this and kept pushing. We do look back now and laugh about some of the things that I did and as an man I am a little embarrassed.
So how did I over come this limiting belief?
It took time.
We (i mean my trainer and I) worked week in week out on my mindset. On the outside I was saying all the right things. I wanted to lose weight, I wanted to look better, I wanted to be the best version of myself (heard these before?). What was missing was the emotional attachment I had to these. I couldn’t see change because I wasn’t attached to my goals.
One day we went out training and this day was different. We kayaked out into the middle of the lake to an island and there was no where to go. If I wanted to get off the island I had to swim or kayak. Simple. What my trainer got me to do was to narrow the desire I wanted to achieve to the point I had an emotional attachment. He would ask me why I wanted to lose weight, with each response he would ask the question again, and again and again. Until I gave an answer that had the emotional attachment. For me losing weight was about not repeating what both my father and grand father had done. That was succumb to heart disease. Both died in their sixties and I was determined for this not to happen to me. This motivation was powerful enough to overcome my limiting belief. It also motivated me to keep going.
My limiting self belief was also something we discussed. He pushed me on the question about why I hadn’t achieved my weight loss goals before. He again asked the question and I gave an answer that I thought was right and again he asked. Until I blurted out that I didn’t think I could achieve it. When I did this we discussed it at length, he even illustrated how inaccurate I was. Then a weight lifted off me. I felt this immense shift in my thinking. “hey I can actually do this” with that belief changed I could now begin to move forward.
Once I had moment of change in my thinking it then became a process of reaffirming this belief. I was able to see a lot of things in a whole new light. I can only describe it as if I had put on a new pair of glasses and I now see things that before I couldn’t. I could see what I was achieving everyday which helped reaffirm my new belief. Momentum started to build and I was achieving more and more. This new found evidence of change confronted the old belief and rendered it obsolete.
If you’re not sure if you’re beliefs are in line with what you want to achieve in life, take a moment and have a think about it. Ask yourself the questions : why haven’t I achieved x (x being your goal)? Take that answer and see if it is how you feel. If it is not ask the same question again. We all go through this process of removing limiting beliefs and it is something that never goes away. I revisit this process when I am getting stuck on something.
Once you identify that limiting belief, acknowledge it. Say to yourself “Ok I now know I felt this X, but thats not true” X being your limiting beliefs. The reason is its not true is Im sure you’ll see things in your life that contradict that belief.
You’ve acknowledged the limiting belief, now you have to replace it with a new belief. Mine was pretty simple. I made mine that I could make the changes I needed to do to achieve my goals. Then I was on my way. I still to this day spend time revisiting how far I have come and how much has changed thanks to the change in belief. Find the belief that will propel you towards your goal.
My final piece of advice here is to take your time. Be patient and Be kind to yourself.
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